Change of Focus

I swear something has snapped in my brain. At this point it looks positive but it’s going to take weeks to see if it is actually a positive change or if by then it will have faded into wishful thinking. I’ve made attempts at change similar to this many a time, with varying degrees of focus and success (or lack thereof). The last few weeks I keep thinking about taking much better care of this structure of skin, bone, muscle, and mind that makes me human, specifically in regards to my physical health. Why physical when I’ve been talking so much about mental health? Because I am more and more convinced that what I do (or don’t do) to my physical body has a significant effect on my mental state and my ability to handle day-to-day life. Something as simple as eating out or eating more convenient/processed food in a week will start to effect me. That’s likely due to the vitamins and minerals that I’m NOT getting from eating out (or having a microwave dinner)

So what’s happened? For starters I invested a rather significant chunk of cash into a machine that will improve my mental and physical health. As an added bonus this machine is fairly low maintenance too. Initial investment is probably the biggest cost, although there will be some small costs for repair and upkeep. Curious yet?


I just met her yesterday, signed some papers, paid a fee, and took her home. No, I haven’t given her a name yet either. (And why do men typically refer to mechanical devices, especially ones related to transportation, in the female pronoun and with some degree of affection?) And before anyone asks, yes I have a helmet — I don’t plan on riding without it.

The other thing that’s been rattling around in my brain for just over a week or so is starting a “couch to 5k” running program. If you haven’t heard of it, a couch to 5k (or C25K) is a training program designed to get almost anyone from a couch potato to running 5km in approximately 9 weeks. If I start this week, by early July I should be able to run 5kms. I won’t commit to that just yet, I think I’ll work on getting my cycling legs back in shape for a few weeks first. And there is a bit of flexibility in the program where you can take a bit longer to complete it, based on your level of health and fitness.

At this point I really want to do a C25K, but I don’t want to take on too much change in physical activity at once and then overdo it or burn out and quit. I think I’ll look into a strength and flexibility training program to do in the meantime, which will benefit my biking, running, and overall health. A huge bonus would be if I enjoy being fit (cycling and running or whatever else) more smoking. Now THAT would be a huge victory! If that’s the case I’d rather spend the money I’d spend on cigarettes, on keeping myself in shape instead of literally watching it go up in smoke before my eyes….

Of course, I know that being in better shape physically will help me handle my depression and anxiety, plus these would fill in a chunk of time every day instead of wasting it at home procrastinating or staring at a computer screen. I hope that by starting this stuff early in the year I can have solid habits built through the summer and fall, and hopefully I can carry them on through the winter (and if that means joining a gym so I can use a treadmill and/or exercise bike, so be it).

Here’s to change — positive change that I’m in control of…now that’s change I can handle!

PS If you’re a runner, a cyclist, or have a suggestion for a bike name, drop a comment.

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